We Spoke to Size Queens About Why They Prefer Big Dicks

“It gives me a strange sense of pride. I love the feeling of being totally stretched out.”

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

When Alicia* met a self-employed arborist at work, he gave her his business card and told her to call him if she wanted to plant a really big tree. It turned out that the "tree" in question was 9 inches long, and that the 35-year-old American really enjoyed planting it. “I've always been a big fan of oral and deep-throating, and doing that with someone so long was fun,” she recalls. “Being able to use two hands and my mouth was fun, exhilarating, and challenging. I could feel inches of him pushing down my throat and then sliding back out. It was a huge turn on, and got me really excited to have sex.”

This was a pivotal moment for Alicia. After having sex with her first well-endowed hook-up, she realized that she wanted to experience it again and again. She became what’s known as a size queen—someone who has a sexual preference for larger-than-average dicks. This preference can involve oral, vaginal, and anal sex; both men and women might describe themselves as size queens. The general erection consensus among the size queens I spoke to is that a 7-inch length and 5.5-inch girth qualifies as large, which places their size preference about two inches longer and one inch girthier than the average penis.

As a man who sports a 10.5 x 7.8-inch penis, Matt is very familiar with all of the above. He first discovered that he was larger than his classmates in the high school gym showers. Shortly after, rumors began to spread and he was given the nickname “Donkey.” On the one hand, Matt feels like he was treated as a plaything—one of his first sexual experiences involved a group of girls asking him to show them his cock in exchange for seeing them in their bras—but at the same time, as a nerdy awkward guy, he thinks that his size helped him explore his adolescent sexuality. “It was definitely a colossal advantage to have all the rumors flying about,” the 35-year-old Brit tells me. “I'm sure there are some girls who would never have thought of me in a sexual way at all, but ended up at least being curious after I was nicknamed.”

It makes sense that burgeoning teenage sexual awareness coupled with small-town word-of-mouth gave way to interest in Matt’s dick, yet curiosity doesn’t necessarily equate to sexual desire. Alicia’s size queen discovery emerged out of an entirely unplanned meet, and the same can be said for others. 43-year-old Hanna* came across her first big dick after banging a guy she met at a College Republican’s party; one of 19-year-old Bella’s* first high school hook-ups happened to be hung; 21-year-old Theresa* simply dated a well-endowed man and then found it difficult to return to average-sized men when they broke up.

There’s a variety of reasons why big dicks appeal to size queens, including the potential for deep-throating, the feeling of being stretched, and the visual penis aesthetics. “I like seeing the size of the dick compared to my body and grabbing it, seeing how big it is in my hands,” Bella says, while Theresa equates a larger size with more manliness. Bella also describes how she has no gag reflex and that she enjoys being able to put that to use on a lengthy cock. Alicia had a similar revelation during that initial hook-up with the hung arborist. “Normally, with more average-sized dick, it would just push into the back of my throat. But with him, deep-throating felt like actual throat-fucking,” she remembers.

Alicia also gets pleasure from the sheer physicality of an above-average penis. “I like that they can achieve long hard strokes without fear of it falling out,” she says, before adding that she enjoys the sensation of her vagina being stretched. “With smaller guys, I've achieved this by adding fingers and toys, but larger guys just get this naturally or by changing angles.” She prefers sex to be more primal and spontaneous, which just doesn’t happen if she has to grab a sex toy mid-fuck. This feeling is shared by Hanna, who thrives on the challenge of being able to take a massive member. “It gives me a strange sense of pride. I love the feeling of being totally stretched out and the reminder the next day if I'm sore.”

While Hanna likes feeling sore the morning after, Alicia is immensely turned on by dick-related pain during the act itself. “I enjoy pain during sex, so I do really like that initial pain of a huge cock smashing my cervix,” Alicia explains. The first time she felt a dick hit her cervix, she was super turned on and already past the point where pain feels painful. “I normally orgasm fairly easily, but this was something else,” she recounts. “My legs were shaking, and after we were done my legs were weak for quite a while. So, intense orgasms were achieved, with seemingly much less effort on his part compared to what I've experienced with smaller partners.”

Not all size queens enjoy this pain—Theresa specifies that a cervix poke means that her partner is a little too large. This is all too familiar for Matt, who has often seen a nice run of dates turn sour when things get physical. “My last date was going well until the third date when we got to the unbuckling stage and as soon as it came out, she just stared at it in horror,” he says. “She couldn't get it over it being more than twice as big as anything she'd had before.” Matt tells me that his size will always come up regardless of who he’s with, and that this has led to mixed experiences in the dating scene—there’s those who are "dickmatized" and those who just ghost him.

In a world, that often equates cock size with virility, the implicit slogan "bigger means better" frequently materializes in men’s fragile egos. How many times have you received an unsolicited dick pic purporting to be a gift from the heavens, when down on Earth it looks more like the half-chewed frankfurter that your dog dragged in from next-door’s barbecue? This complicates Matt’s love life. If he tries to give an early subtle warning that he’s hung, it usually comes off as masculine bravado. But if he doesn’t prime a partner for what’s inside his underwear, it might deflate a pleasant date. Matt’s found that the best way to indicate his size is at the sending nudes stage, yet he’s equally conscious that nudes aren’t for everyone (and he doesn’t send unwanted dick pics).

Dating issues also present themselves for size queens. Alicia’s first hook-up may have smashed it with the brazen confidence of his pick-up line, but—ironically enough—not everyone with a big dick actually exudes big dick energy. Theresa and Alicia have tried using height, hand, and foot size to predict a bulge, but both of them report that this is ultimately an old wives’ tale. None of the size queens I spoke to would ever walk out on an average-sized lay—they all emphasized that it’s the quality of sex that matters and therefore, as a rule, they wouldn’t usually go on a second date with a smaller guy. Hanna feels that she’s been lucky in the number of well-endowed men she’s met, although she believes that this also boils down to her very active sex life. Alicia once met a man who flat-out lied about his size, but tells me this hasn’t happened since. Between them, the size queens use a mixture of IRL, apps (Tinder), and websites (Craigslist, Positive Singles, and Doublelist) to meet suitable partners.

None of the above apps or websites are specifically tailored toward big dicks. Yet there’s a fair few avenues for the better-endowed to meet potential size queens. Matt has also met partners out and about—including everywhere from a nudist beach to house parties and the set of a TV show—as well as on regular dating websites like OkCupid. He’s also had success on websites such as Large Penis Support Group (LPSG),7OrBetter, and Size Minded, which were all designed with hung men in mind (LPSG also functions as a general forum for all large penis related matters).

Size Minded was founded in 2010 by a couple of well-endowed buddies who were frustrated by the silence around penis size on other dating sites. “We understood that penis size is not just a sexual preference or kink but can be a possible source of frustration and disappointment in relationships,” co-founder Chris explains. “If a penis is too large, it can cause pain or even physical injury to one or both partners. Conversely, a partner might not feel pleasured if a penis is too small.” To date, the site has 11,000 users, a size and gender verification system, and attracts a mixture of curious people, cuckolds, and bulls, and—of course—size queens.

When I ask Matt how he feels about size queens, he tells me that—as a man with a big dick—he’s extremely thankful for them. “I suppose the utopian situation is where everyone's open to all sizes, big or small, but people have their preferences, so I respect size queens for being open about them,” he explains. “I certainly wish more people would admit their desires. If a woman needs a huge cock to be satisfied, they shouldn't be ashamed to say it because they're afraid of how it makes them sound or how it makes some insecure men feel. Likewise, if I knew it'd be a total no-go with a woman once we got to third base purely because of my dimensions, it'd save a lot of time and energy. Ideally, we'd just be able to have an open conversation about size as a society.”

*Names have been changed to protect anonymity.

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This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

Dick size—it’s a topic every man thinks about.

Am I big enough? Am I small? What is big enough? Is it what I see in porn? OH GOD, IS THAT WHAT NORMAL SIZE IS?!?!

Big dicks, while they never left, have once again entered our collected psyche with the recent introduction of the term “big dick energy.” Now, as many have pointed out, people don’t necessarily need to possess a massive hog—or even a hog at all—in order to wield this mighty energy, but you would have to be a moron to not see the connection. It’s right there in the name, “BIG DICK” energy.

Is there a connection to the swagger one walks around with and the size of their love rocket? It sure seems like there is and one academic is trying to see if that assumption is true. Dr. Alicia Walker of Missouri State University launched a study earlier in the month and it will see her look at thousands of pictures of dicks and interview hundreds more in an attempt to see if there is a correlation between confidence and dick size.

VICE contacted Dr. Walker to talk about her research and ask what she’s learned studying dick sizes.

VICE: So, what exactly is the study?Walker: This study is trying to look at the relationship—if there is one—between penis size and self-esteem, willingness to engage in relationships, condom usage, and perception of sexual competency. Basically, it’s trying to look at it and how this impacts how men navigate their lives.

What are you hoping to accomplish with the research?Hopefully, it will start a conversation, or a discourse around this. There are a lot of men out there suffering from body dysmorphic disorder. There are a lot of men who believe they are small or below average who aren’t. Then there are a lot of people who are below average and that impacts how they interact with the world.

For instance, I’ve talked to men who haven’t been to the doctor for a physical in over a decade because they don’t want to be naked in front of their doctor. I’ve talked to men who have never even approached anyone for a romantic relationship because they don’t believe anyone would be interested in them because of their size. I’ve talked to men who have attempted suicide because of their size.

This has very serious implications and I realize that everyone is all like "hahaha it’s so funny" but it’s really not, it’s actually really serious. It’s about how people see themselves and their bodies and how it impacts the choices that they make. It’s actually really important.

How does society see penis size?
We are size-obsessed, you know, we constantly make jokes about size. We have discussions and size-worship all over the place—porn, for example, it’s a big motif there. They’re all much larger than normal. Even this week there has been all this talk about big dick energy. That’s a trending hashtag right now that we’re having a conversation right now saying that men who have this are better and more confident. The point is we certainly have a social narrative that bigger is better and that if a man doesn’t measure up he’s less of a man.

Are you hoping to combat that narrative?Yeah, I hope so…

What will actually take place during the study? What steps will you be going through?There are two components of the study and people can participate in both of them or just one of them. There is an interview component and there aren’t any photographs that are a part of it. That’s just people talking with me about their experiences and how they feel and how they think their size has impacted how they see themselves and the kind of things they do or don’t do.

Then there is a survey that does ask for photos but for a very specific reason. The standard for any kind of penis measurement is what we call the bone-press method [“really jam it in there as far as you can”] so we have them all using that and it’s uniform. So people are asked to send in pictures showing the method and the measurement so we know it’s accurate. So once we verify that it is a correct method, we destroy the photos. The only people who can participate are men over the age of 22.

How is it going so far?Gosh, we’ve had more than 2,000 looks at the study and I don’t know exactly how many completed the survey off the top of my head. I’ve completed thirty Interviews and I have a lineup for more folks.

Is it easier to get uh… bigger men to talk about their dick size?It’s actually the opposite. It’s pretty funny; every man I’ve talked to they’ve all said the same thing you just said: "Oh, all you’re going to have is a big sample of guys who are larger than average." It’s not been the case—we’re actually low on people that are above average. We don’t have anywhere near as many of those participants as those who are average and below.

Are you starting to see any preliminary findings?Preliminary findings are that this is an issue as I’ve talked about with doctors—relationships and suicide attempts. Some people say I don’t even try and get condoms because they’re not going to fit and I’m going to be too small etc. I’ve started to see some of those patterns. This all came from multiple people I’ve talked to and they’ve all been tied back by size. I’m starting to see an effect on that end. I sadly don’t have enough men above average to draw any conclusions from them.

What was the genesis of this project?
I’ve been thinking about this project for six years. The genesis of it was that a number of women I know, who don’t know each other, told me similar stories about their personal partner sample which were all well-endowed men. That got me a little curious, mainly being what are they vetting for that is leading to this. The only thing they really had in common is they looked for a partner who had a lot of self-esteem or confidence and that was the only trait they all were looking for.

What is it like looking at so many pictures of dicks? That’s definitely not part of a normal person's workday.This is a regular day for me. I’m a sex researcher this is what I do.

Correction: A previous version of this story said that Dr. Walker worked with the University of Missouri when she actually works with Missouri State University.

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