Are You A "Size Queen"? Men In THESE Places Have The Biggest D*cks!

By Sarah Sapora
October 19, 2016

*Disclaimer: Dear Mom. I love you. I'm sorry. It's my job. It's my "duty" to tell the women of the Interwebs the following information. No, really, I need to make rent this month. I love you. Now close your eyes..."

So... you like big d*ck? Chill out, Size Queen, we're not here to judge how big you like em'...

We're just going to tell you where in this glorious world you can find the biggest eggplants.

Ready? Set? Go....

Ok. There actually is some science here. Hold on while we get all teacher-y up in this joint!

According to this article, penis sizes vary around the world. You've probably heard that before. But this study lays it out for us a little more.

First thing first, it tells us that all data is flawed cause, you know, men lie about the size of their junk and the company that scored the data was a "penis enlargement" company. That being said, a British group did study over 15,000 men from around the world.

Want to check out the study in it's full glory? Holy sh*tballs. Stop everything now and start wasting time! Probably not the best idea at work (or on a mobile device) but this interactive map will literally tell you the average penis size in centimeters alllllllllllllooovvvvvvvveeeeerrrrr the world.

Let's say you don't have the time. No problem. We will do our civic duty and give you a recap of the *cough* scientific data.

Fact 1: The Baseline

According to research, the average size in the WORLD of a non-erect penis is 3.6 inches. Remember this. This is your baseline stat. It's like baseball stats, you know, expect with penis instead.

Fact 2: Places Where Men Have the Smallest Junk

Places like India, Thailand, Malaysia and South Korea are reported to have men with the smallest average penis size. According to the report, the average length of erect penis is between 9.3 cm and 10.50 cm. In inches that is about 3.7 - 4.13 inches. Sorry, folks, we don't write the news we just report it.

Fact 3: Penis Size in Places You Might Actually Visit

You may not be taking a trip to Malaysia anytime soon but, you could be going to the United Kingdom (5.6 inches) or France and Germany (5.7 inches) or Denmark (5.78 inches)!

Fact Four: Where It's Starting to Heat Up

Ok peeps. This is where the junk starts to get a bit bigger. Grab that passport and head to... Mexico (5.86 inches) or Cuba (6.25 inches -- also we think Jet Blue just started selling flights to Havana so, bon voyage!) or Sweden and Norway (5.94 inches) or Italy (5.9 inches) or the Netherlands (6.14 inches)!

Fact Five: THE BIG JUNK!

If you like them big, here's where you will have to travel. (Are you taking notes?)

We'll start by just leaving this here.

According to this map, the most sizable male members are to be found in the mid-Western region of Africa. Here the stats go from 6.33 inches to over 7 inches.

Last, but not least...

Fact Six: How Guys At Home Stack Up

Science says that the average erect male penis in the United States is 5.59 inches. There you go.

We leave you with this closing though. A recent survey says that only 11.2% women feel penis size was REALLY important. About 67% said it was somewhat important but not really a big deal. The remaining folks (about 21%) said that don't care about penis size. What's the takeaway from all of this? While we're being snarky here because, well, let's face it, being snarky is fun... So is working with your lover to have a fulfilling and mutually beneficial sex life. Regardless of size, there are oodles of way you can increase pleasure for both of you. Positions that can assist in the depth of penetration, pillows that can be added and ways to make sex fulfilling and beautiful!

Now... get to work and start making that magic happen!!